I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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