You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
