she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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