I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
