3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize