If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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