I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
