Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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