how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
