do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
