the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
