Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
