Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You ruined the universe
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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