we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
