6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just cut my nipple shaving
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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