You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
