in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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