Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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