Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
