So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize