So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
