so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
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The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize