i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
