everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
