Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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