never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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