this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
