i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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