Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
