Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
