You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
