Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
