I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Boobs speak an international language.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
