At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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