We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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