I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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