...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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