Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
