forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
