Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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