Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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