Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just cropdusted the office
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i've created a new STD.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
