check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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