Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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