his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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