If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
