Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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