thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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