i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
