Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
