Your face is a jimmy john
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
