I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fuck appropriateness.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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