the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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