So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize