all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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