I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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