I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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