is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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