also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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