my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
