I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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