I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
