i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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