I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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