If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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