What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
third nipple confirmed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
