He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
