Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
