she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize