I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
